The Weenie Bikini

   Adam and I just got back from Aruba!!!  We had an awesome time and we will definitely go back, one day, after we've traveled lots of other places first.  And since the high for today is only in the 40s, I figured I'd share some warm weather photos for y'all to feel hot hot hot!

   My first encounter with a Speedo was several years ago on Folly Beach.  I remember seeing an extremely overweight man walking on the beach and he appeared from afar to look naked.  I was wondering why someone would be walking along naked on a non-nude beach, so I decided to investigate by getting closer.  As I walked up to the water, I realized, the man was not naked, in fact, he was wearing an itty bitty leopard print weenie bikini!!!  His belly hung over so much that you couldn't really see it!

  Well, while in Aruba, I wasn't prepared for the massive amount of exposure we were going to be seeing at the beach & poolside.  We had a drinking game where every time we saw a Speedo (otherwise known as:  a weenie bikini,  banana hammock, grape smuggler, ding-a-ling sling, scrote tote, ) - we had to drink. The first day we were there, I was sipping so many rum punches that we had to stop playing the game just so I could function!

  We also saw thongs galore! And let me tell you, most of these people should not have been wearing these breezy suits! I admired their carefree attitudes. It made me more confident in my own bikini!

  While I wasn't able to blatantly snap photos of these sightings without 1.  being beat up or  2. having my camera taken away, I was constantly thinking of my blog and my blog readers, so I sneaked a few for your viewing!!!

  I am sad, however, that I wasn't able to snap some of the best! Especially the guy that had a jacket made of hair. I guess there is always next time!

when I see her butt, I think, "wa-bamm!" (don't you?)  haha 

this is my favorite, a man purse & a banana hammock

    I think I'm ready for the French Riviera, don't you? :)



 Happy Holiday season!!!!! I am getting ready to put up Firdinand, (thats what I named our tree).

Beware of Dog

   It is November people!! November!!!! Do you KNOW what that means?! It is almost socially acceptable for me to start listening to Christmas music! :) I have already gotten a few things out for the holiday season, including my "Naughty or Nice, Sugar & Spice" flannel pajamas.

    Which was precisely the outfit I was wearing yesterday, along with a tshirt and a big pink fluffy robe, while eating breakfast and watching "The Today Show", when the doorbell rang.  Now, I wasn't expecting anyone to come to my house and I certainly wasn't answering the door looking like I was! Naturally, I ran upstairs as fast as I could because allllllll of the windows in the house were wide open and anyone could see inside.  It was our pest control service, they come here like every 3-6 months and spray or whatever.

  I figured I could stay upstairs til he left.  The dogs, however, were not satisfied with me not answering the door.  They went into full guard mode.  BARK!!! BARKING!!!!!!! HOWL!!!!!!!! Running back and forth throughout the house, looking from window to window, running back to the door, confused as to where the guy had actually gone.

     Normally I would not condone such foolish behavior from Beau & Jasper, but I like to encourage this when strangers come to the door because I want to be known as the house on the block NOT to mess with.  We don't have a "Beware of Dog" sign, but thats because I think our extremely loud, 108lbs Rhodesian Ridgeback mix, gets the message clear without even being seen.  His voice is booming and loud.  And Jasper?  He's a quiet beagle, until you get him started, then he lunges forward and basically screams when he barks.

   The boys got pretty quiet for a minute... then all of a sudden, I hear the blinds (probably being torn down), and a surge of barking, howling, growling, and lunging!  I also hear a sound that doesn't sound like a dog.  OH no, it's the pest guy screaming like a girl! HAHA He was standing right at the window where the dogs reached around the blinds and started a rabid like bark attack on him!

   Poor pest guy.  I feel bad! But at least no one will come back to this house unannounced!! HAHA

Remember: Beau is always watching you!

Beau and Jasper came upstairs to let me know the Pest guy was gone, as if to say, "We haz it Mommy!!, we made the pezt guy leave!"

And need I remind you of Beau's training for this.

 

Note to self: Perms are a bad idea.

I know it has been a while since I've updated... and I have no excuse other than, I have been busy working and being lazy.  I also have been working out (more on that later). 


  Nothing overly exciting is going on today, just thought I'd reminisce on simpler days.  A time of my youth where there wasn't a worry in the world! 

 Scene: Ms. Eager's Class -beginning of 5th grade - 1992 - Springfield Elementary

 My "What was I thinking" moment:  I think this photo says it all really. 

• Left over 80's Olgavie Home Perm - (my mom was obsessed with giving my flat straight hair, 'body', but sucessfully only ever gave me frizz)
• The ultimate half up/half down hair do complete with blue scrunchie!
• The blue short sleeve shirt with the mock turtleneck.
• The home sewn shorts that no doubt have a matching vest that my Granny made me
• The slouchy socks ...  ohh the slouchy socks!
• Keds - why do my feet look too large for my body?! I remember wearing a size 7 in 5th grade!!
• Also, I didn't show my teeth when smiling until after I got braces in high school and had them removed when I was 18 years old. 



This was at the beginning of 5th grade.   Clearly, I had no control over my wardrobe and this is why I am obessed with fashion now! 


  I don't remember much about 5th grade, except that we got to change classes, so I felt important.  I was a special reporter for "WSTM Springfield in the Morning" ("The Today Show" for our elementary school).  I had to get to school even earlier than all the other kids to do the show; perhaps thats why my style is lacking. 

   After having attended cosmetology school and knowing the proper way a perm should be treated, I'm pretty sure my mom forcing me to brush my hair with a boar bristle brush was a bit innacurate. 

  I remember dispising having to wear the matchy matchy outfits my Granny would make me as a child.  My sister and I had matching outfits - always shorts or skorts with a matching vest or dickie*.  And the patterns?! Good Lord the patterns!!! I have a skirt and matching vest set with cows in a pasture on it,  fruits and veggies, and florals.  I also had the cruelty of wearing cow print as well.  Moo. 

   By the time I made it to the end of 5th grade, my perm had grown out, I got taller - to match my big feet, and I was tanner too!!  Then my mom decided it was time for another perm.  I tell you, why would you spend $80 on an 11-year-old to get her hair fried?! I don't understand it!!! 

  Anywho, here's my "after" photo - the last week of 5th grade.  I am not looking much better, as the hair has grown out and now I look more "lion-esque".  The shoes remain the same, but I look like I am about to go play basket ball or something.  I am definintely a "rectangle" in this photo, as my arms are more than half the length of me!

   I think I skipped taking photos in 6th grade all together. 

*if you don't know what a dickie is, consider yourself lucky in that you didn't fall victim to this horrible fashion faux paus.  Not to be confused with Dickie Pants.  Dickies are mock or fake turtlenecks that go underneath your shirts to make it look like you're wearing a turtleneck.  Clearly there was a need for this in Charleston b/c its never cold enough to bundle up, yet we always wanted to look like we were in the winter season in photos. 




you can buy these here: http://www.dakotamainstreet.com/


 
  

Grocery Store Nonsense

  I hate grocery shopping.  HATE IT!  Adam doesn't care for me to go to the grocery store either, something about me spending too much money and he's not sure what I spend it on.  Hmmm.....

   Yesterday, I wandered into the Super Bi-Lo for just a few things and was in there for over an hour, wandering around aimlessly.  I will preface this post by saying that Adam had previously gone to the store one day earlier to pick up "dinners", which almost always just consists of meat.  I am always left asking, "Where are the side dishes to our meal!?"  And more importantly, where is my dessert?! 

   OOOOHHHH, I stop at the bakery first.  Cheese Danish, buy one, get one muffins, fresh sourdough bread!  I get side tracked by a Post & Courier salesman who insists I take a free paper and that if I sign up today I get all these coupons to use in the store!  I usually tell a white lie and say we've already got a subscription, just so I can still seem friendly, yet not have to talk to them, but yesterday he cornered me!  I got into a deep conversation about the differences between online viewing of the paper vs. the actual paper.  Finally I just told the man that I wouldn't read it, I'd rather get my news from "The Today Show" and the local news! 

   On to the veggie/fruit aisle.  I really wanted some nectarines, but the ones they had were all "rotten" looking, so I opted for some pre-sliced seedless watermelon instead.  I know that coupon mommies everywhere are cringing b/c the number one cardinal rule of saving money when buying fruit is to never ever buy it pre-cut / prepared for you.  Sue me, I like my convienent watermelon!!!  And I think I'll get some cucumbers too for some, uh, salads. (And no, I can't eat salad with Crohn's, but I do anyway b/c everything makes me sick and if I'm going to be sick, I want to be sick and happy eating what I want).  Corn, grapes, squash, zucchini...  I also pick up some yummy looking chocolate chip cookies from the bakery side. 

   I pass by the sushi,  something about grocery store sushi grosses me out.  I'm sure its good, but I just can't go there.  Onward to the bread aisle...  I need some english muffins. The bread aisle is also the cards, books, magazine aisle, which is where I get sucked into buying four magazines:  Martha Stewart Living (love!), People Magazine Style Watch (can't live without), Real Simple (yummy recipes and I love the organizational stuff) and Glutes (I'll explain later). 

    For those of you keeping score, just the two aisles alone, I've racked up about $30 worth of stuff in my cart. 

   Onward I say!!! I hit a snag with my cart, for some reason the bi-lo carts are self-locking and I've some how teetered myself into a self-locking position.  I spend the next 8 minutes of my life trying to figure this out without bumping the Old Bay Seasoning display with my butt, purse, or the bunch of flowers I bought before even entering into aisles.  Did I forget to mention that? I like fresh flowers in the house.  $8, cha-ching.

    OOOH pre-made Oscar Meyer Bacon, buy one, get one! WILL DO!!! Yogurt for my lunches this week.  I STILL need that dessert!   What do I want? Apple Pie!  BUT WAIT! I pass by the Blue Bell Ice Cream man unloading a big box!  Ahhh! I love Blue Bell Ice Cream!  Wait a cotton-picking minute, I believe I see Ben & Jerry's is on sale too! Buy one, get one!!!! Its my lucky day!!! Even though they don't have fro-yo, I get Half Baked for me and Mint Chocolate Cookie for Adam (butter him up for spending moolah at the store!).  And while I'm at it, I'll get some Coke in a bottle b/c thats his fav too! I glance the cart and realize I don't have enough good-bad ratio, so I take out some swiss cake rolls. 

    OK, OK!!! After I get some dog treats, I go over to the checkout, I think I'm done.  I peruse the magazines near the checkout counter as well; but all the weeklies look lame.  I don't want to read about how the Duggars want a 20th child - I think its safe to say they will if they can and thats fine with me, no need to write an article about it! 

  I have a bi-lo bonus card! Score!!!!!  Which means I'll get a cool 10 cents off my next fill up on gas at the Sunoco. 

  What's my damage? 

ok, the photo is showing correctly on my computer, but for some reason it keeps uploading sideways

 Hmm, LOOK how much I saved!! $12!! SCORE!!!! 

  I get home and realize that 1.  I have a lot of junk and not a lot of substance
  and 2.  I bought a magazine called "Glutes" b/c I liked the cover model's hair and ... I have no idea what it is (side note: Glutes is a magazine all about getting the butt you want....with exercising & eating right.  Just MAKE me feel bad about the pie, ben & jerrys and cookie purchase why don't!). 

   
    Um, ooh yeah, those cookies were 2 for 6! but I only got one. 

   The reason I grocery shop?  B/c Adam buy's meat, reduced fat cheese nips, diet mountain dew (ew), and coke zero (double ew).  I would starve!!!!! 

      Somewhere Adam is growling. haha 

Scenes from a Monday

Disclaimer:  No animals were hurt during this, they are simply playing and aren't truly "chomping down" on each other, but it looks vicious! 

Place: Jones Manor

Time: 6pm, on Monday 8/9.10 (one week from the date we got Jasper, our second doggy addition to the family)

   At first, Jasper was very timid near Beau, as Beau is 108 pounds and Jasper is a meer 19 pounds.  But, I believe after just a few days he has come out of his shell. 

It started innocently enough... look at them, all sweet, brotherly love. 

Then, Beau went and started "playing" with Jasper

Ouch Beau! I don't think that Jasper likes you fitting his head in your mouth like a bear!

Then out of nowhere, Jasper gets this look in his eye, he's "Evil" eye! 

And get's Beau while he's not looking!  I haz 'dis Mommy! I haz 'dis!

Boom yow!  Jasper checked you Beau! haha 

I guess beating up on your brother can really tire you out! 

 

I don't have answers

   It is only Tuesday and it has already been an eventful week for me! 

Saturday after work, I ventured to the mall for one last failed attempt for "cool" looking silver shoes.  Ps. they don't exist.  While walking through, I got approached by a guy at a kiosk. 

    "  'mam?  excuse me?  'mam? " 

   * I begrudgingly look over at him...- (why did I look?! my mantra is to look forward, straight ahead, pretend I can't see or hear them!!)*

    " ah yes, 'mam, I have a questions for you..."

    "sorry, I don't have any answers"

tee hee.  I kind of feel slightly bitchy after having done that, but empowered at the same time! 

    Sunday I went to the pool to soak up a little vitamin D, which apparently taking in pill form just isn't enough.  While I'm sitting there, eyes closed, reflecting on things, I get hit in the arm with a wet football.  *Growls*  Here's the thing, people have the this idea in their head that I "hate" children.  This is not so.  I love well-behaved, well-mannered children.  I do dislike unsupervised, ill-mannered kids like the ones throwing this football around.  The child in question, didn't even apologize for having hit me!!  They kept doing it too!! Running around the pool, screaming, yelling, etc.  WHERE were their parents?!!!!!!!!!  argh. 

   Yesterday, I was getting ready for my cleaning appointment at the dentist, when I heard a big truck outside.  I look out the window and notice a moving van at naked baby's house!!  WHAT?! Could this be?!  Are they , dare I say it,  moving!?  I just saw an empty truck with folded boxes, so I won't hold my breath, but perhaps they are packing up their stuff?! 

    I also finally found the book, "Pretty Little Liars".  I started reading it last night and I'm embarrassed to tell you that with all the characters, its a little hard for me to follow along.  It is considered a "Teen" book and I'm having trouble keeping up!!!  I am hoping once I get past the first few set-up chapters that it will click into place for me.  The tv show comes on tonight, so I may or may not go ahead and watch it. 

    Today, Beau and I are superivising two guys put in fence posts in our back yard.  YAY for a fence!! We'll have one by the time I get home tomorrow. 


  Chicago is just a few short days away!! It really snuck up on me! I won't be blogging as much this weekend b/c duh, I won't be on my computer! But I'm sure I'll have lots to blog about once I get home! 

  xoxo, B

"Time for your Tootie Tan!"

    Summer has officially begun - how do I know this? There isn't a darn thing on tv at night!  I am stuck watching things like "Toddlers & Tiaras" on TLC Wednesday nights, where "Modern Family" used to fill my evening with laughter.  Thats right, I said it, "Toddlers & Tiaras".  Its a show that is focused on following around pageant mom's and their beauty queen daughters. 

  I'm not here to trying to get in an argument over if dressing up little girls with makeup, spray tans, big hair pieces, and frilly dresses is right or not. Nor do I want to enter a debate on whether or not a contestant should wear flippers  (flippers are false teeth that the little girls wear when they are missing teeth). 

    Now that I have said my disclaimer, here's my only problem with the show:  the moms.  Ok, be a pageant mom, whatever, but seriously,  almost all of them are overweight and don't look like they wear makeup or have even touched their hair in over a decade.  I'm watching a marathon as we speak (shamed, soooo shamed, but at least I'm not watching "Jersey Couture" - taped for later viewing).  There is a mother on here who has her hair piled up on top of her head, permed and poofy.  Her oversized XXL Destin, Florida t-shirt is stained and wrinkly and there is not one swipe of makeup on her face.  The mom's are in need of some serious makeovers stat!  If they ARE wearing makeup, its 80s style. 

   OK, so perhaps I do find it somewhat disturbing to watch a 4 year old girl lick her finger, put it on her butt and make the sound, "ssssssss!". Also it freaks me out how they dance , side to side, with their arms flailing.  Jazz Hands!!! I think the technical term is actually called, "Swishing".  I also  notice during the actual competition that when they show the moms out in the audience feeding the contestants all of their dance moves, that no one is in the audience hardly! 


  Here's a website with the top ten from the first season: http://tlc.discovery.com/videos/toddlers-tiaras-top-10-controversial-parents/

    The ten videos are entertaining, funny and sad all at the same time.  One mom actually says her daughter did "awful".  Does she not realize the cameras are on her?!  *sighs*  check it out.  My favorite out of the ten though is Tootie - "time for your Tootie tan!".  She is given a stage name of Tootie. 
                             

  

SCENE: Saturday Night, watching "Did you Hear About the Morgans?"

Adam: Where is Beau?

Me: I don't know, but I hear chewing

Adam: What is he chewing on? It doesn't sound like his bone...

*I get up to check out the sound, which is coming from the bedroom*

me: uh, honey? come look at this

Adam: I think he buried his bone in his bed and now he's trying to get it out

me: Well get it from him!! He could die from eating the stuffing and I want to finish the movie tonight instead of spending it at the Animal ER

Beau: I haz zis. Don't touch my bone Daddy!

Me: Seriously honey, get the bed away from him!!

Beau: Don't touch my bed!!! Dis is mine beyatch!

Adam: eh, I'll get it tomorrow morning, lets coax him out with a treat

me: Looks like we'll be taking a trip to Sam's tomorrow for a new doggy bed.

(The Aftermath)

just another day of errands

I've been horrible about putting things off lately. You see, at work, I'm ON it! But at home? yeah, not so much. I'd like to say it's because I put so much of myself into a Type A personality at work that by the time I get home all that is left is a Type B and sweet sleep on the couch. Lets not overanalyze it, lets just say, I've been procrastinating on my home duties!

This morning I was up before the alarm went off, showered, ate breakfast and took Beau to doggy day care for the day while I ran all of my errands. My goal was to be done by 12pm, but I got sidetracked and didn't make it home until 1pm. Close enough.

First stop? Gas station. I needed to fill up, but most importantly, my next stop was to get my blood drawn at the lab, so I figured I'd delay that with going in the gas station to get a bottle of water and some crackers to ease my nerves. I was wearing a shirt I bought in Atlanta at the Coca Cola factory last summer. The guy behind the counter asked, "Whats Team Coca Cola?". Then asked if I wanted more crackers, "they are buy 2 for $1!!".

Next Stop....the dreaded LAB Corp! I prayed that I: 1. wouldn't pass out and 2. there would be a long wait so that I could prolong it even further. I walked in the door and I was the only one in there, guess number 2 won't be happening. Luckily, the crackers & water kept number 1 from happening too! However, the phlebotomist that took my blood was less than perky. She was more like stale bread. I tried to make conversation to ease my mind while she was jabbing me with a needle and she barely said, "mmm hmm" to me the whole time. She missed the first time she poked me and left a lovely bruise. I survived it, so I guess that's a plus. And yes, I'm a big baby when it comes to blood being drawn.

Third stop? Dress Alterations lady! I picked up my bridesmaid dress (see post below), I had to have it taken in b/c the size below seemed too snug and the next size up was way too big. Well, they took it to the snug level, so while I won't be able to take deep breaths, at least my strapless dress isn't going anywhere.


I took a detour before going to the bank, post office and grocery store, to the outlets to see if they by chance had a pair of silver, wedding-ish dressy shoes. The answer is no. I did find a pair to change into if perhaps the pair I do find are uncomfortable. I am thinking about these though:



I'm not sure how little flowers will look coming out from my ankles though. And I also ventured into the Gap outlet which had 40% off everything the store. Still really didn't find anything, but I did buy a pair of shorts!

Off to my oil change. I noticed at Jiffy Lube there is a service they have: "Headlight Cleaning Service" . Seriously. I'm not sure what the exact wording was, it was even better than that, but basically they just wash the little part of glass in front of your headlights to shine it up and help them beam brighter! I'm not sure how much this service costs, but knowing Jiffy Lube, its $79.99 at a discounted rate!!!

OH, home sweet home. I am glad to have all of my errands ran and I'm back on schedule with getting things done today! Now its time to relax!

Happy Monday

As most of you know, Adam and I will be attending a wedding in Chicago soon of our friends, Mindy & Andy. I have the priviledge of being a bridesmaid in said wedding and have all the essentials needed for my bridesmaids duties.

• David's Bridal Horizon Blue Dress (ordered, altered and fits) - check


• two plane tickets to Chicago - check


• RSVP'd for our beef tenderloin & stuff chicken breast - check


• Reserved a spot for Beau at doggy overnight camp - check


• Get silver matching shoes for dress, uh, er, check?

Since I'm basically a career bridesmaid & an over all experienced wedding attendee, I do own a pair of silver shoes from a previous bridesmaid venture where I also was wearing a blue dress. I figured I'd just wear the same shoes again, as they are cute, Nina shoes with a little gemstone buckle on it, but the heel is somewhat higher than what I remembered. I am not sure I can party the night away and get all of my bridesmaid duties completed in these particular shoes.

When I started the search for a new pair of silver shoes - it resulted in a list of what can only be described as stripper style shoes. Clear heels, big clunky platforms, strappppppy strap straps with glittery details. WHAT?! Some even light up! Which, could be fun while dancing during the reception, but I'm pretty sure that wouldn't be appropriate during the traditional church ceremony. Meanwhile, some of these heels I've found are up to 8 inches! I didn't even know such things existed!

When shoes like the one below pops up in your "silver dress shoe" Google search,

What's a girl to do?!

Well, Zappos, unfortunately wasn't much help either b/c the one pair I found wedding worthy aren't available in my size/color combination. I haven't searched in stores though, so perhaps that should be my next step. Gold is really the "in" metallic color for summer this year, so its hard to find silver. The search will continue!!!!! (or I'll just wear the pair I already have)

Tonight is the night that "The Bachelorette" begins! What does this mean? This means that I'm forced to watch bad reality television due to all of my shows having ended for the summer. I am looking forward to the over dramatics that The Bachelor/ette seasons can bring! The rose ceremonies, the crying, the cheesy love songs and the girl trying to make it sound like she's falling in love with all 25 of the guys! Can't she at least give out something somewhat more manly than a rose? I vote she gives out burger king crowns or something. I mean, ANYTHING but a rose! haha

Monday night also means I'm watching my favorite, The Real Housewives of New Jersey. I can't get enough of these ladies and their drama!

*sighs* I'm off to cook dinner. Or figure out what I'm going to make for dinner. Also? our dishwasher is broken. *double sigh*

xoxo- Bec

True Statements

I got an email from my friend Cameron that I just HAVE to repeat to everyone and if you're like me and automatically delete forwards, then thats why I didn't forward it on to you in an email! So the email was all about "True Statements" and with the exception of #23 I agree with all of them! I've decided to add my own comments next to them.

True Statements
1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die. (I have nothing to hide - check my history!)
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to take a nap when I was younger. (seriously! I discovered naps during college and they are fabulous!)
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font. (YES YES YES!!!! Lets make this happen!)
5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet? (If you've seen my facebook page, then you know I was on the quest to learn, but alas - I still have no idea)
6. Was learning cursive really necessary? (the only B I ever got in elementary school? handwriting - darn you cursive!!!)
7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood. (hehe, our neighborhood is so new that it confuses GPS's they don't know what to do!)
8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
10. Bad decisions make good stories. (remember that time we went to the Dog and Duck and decided to drive over to someone random's house and... yeah... they do make good stories! HAHA)
11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day. (HAHAH This is SOOO true!! Sometimes I'm alllllll work work work, then it hits and its like, LAZY - and thats where it stays).
12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again (I think Adam wouldn't like me to agree with this one, we always have to be on top of the electronical trends)
13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to. (sadly, I agree and instead of just "saving", I "Save as" just incase its a change I didn't like!)
14. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this - ever.
15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damn it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voice mail. What did you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away? (SOO SOO TRUE!! happens almost everyday!
16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
17. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call. (ie. my mother!)
18. I think the freezer deserves a light as well. (why wouldn't it?)
19. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay. (kisses begin with Tiffany's)
21. Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it. ("Dirty Dancing", wow, had NO idea the girl had an abortion, I just thought she had a tummy ache!)
22. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in. (to the point where my fingers feel like they will be cut off! hahaa)
23. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text. (I don't text and drive and you shouldn't either! Oprah will come after your ass!)
24. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger. (since its raining and I'm bored, I've eaten three packs of strawberry gushers....)
25. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?
26. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent an A-hole from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!
27. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
28. Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber & dumber every year?
29. There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far. (tee hee, I don't do this, but my husband does and its funny to see his face...)
30. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
31. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is. (I ALWAYS do this!!!! I'm not sure why. And? It doesn't help that my watch has no numbers on it either)
32. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my ass everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!

Reason number 476 why I heart my husband:


Last night, at a routine outing to Barnes & Noble, I buried myself in the biography section and Adam headed over to the magazine section. I also ventured to the teen section because I am on a search to read the book, Pretty Little Liars. Yes, I am that big of a dork. There is a new show coming on based on the books and I want to read them before it comes out in June!

Anywho, after checking out at the register and heading out the door, we notice a table near the front sponsered by Stall High School with this on it:



My hubby reached for a krispy kreme donut without hesitation!!! I couldn't stop laughing. I think I may have even snorted. In his defense, the desserts did look rather real!

I now lovingly refer to Adam as Bear claw. hehe


What I want to know though, is why the pizza, the breakfast food and the cake look soo fake?! Also, what does a crab have to do with a table full of fake food? AND why was Stall High School sponsoring a fake food table at Barnes and Noble anyway? Someone could break a tooth!
I now have a strange craving for a glazed donut.

Soundtrack of my life (well, through my childhood anyway)

Let me take you back to the 80's, unfortunately I don't have a hot tub to get you there, but I can describe to you my childhood memories and the music that helped er, shape me, if you will.

I remember living in the very small town of Walterboro, where the only thing to do on a Friday night is go to a bonfire party and get drunk or drive up and down the main strip to see who else was out and about for the evening. Since I was 4 years old at the time of this story, neither of those were happening to me or my 10 year old sister, so we had to be creative and make up our own stuff to do.

Most times this included us pretending to play "Church" in our formal living room. My sister would play the piano (our pretend organ), I would walk in the room and read from a huge family Bible and pretend to be preaching, (really, the Bible was like 30 pounds - it couldn't be lifted!). I would "HEAL!" whomever was in need that day in our audience, Barbie, a Puffalump, a glow worm or even My Little Pony.

After "church", we would find it appropriate to listen to Madonna's "Like a Virgin" album on our record player. We would dance around foolishly, singing all the words to every song, all the while not knowing what we were REALLY singing about. And really, what were our parents doing buying this for us? The title of the album didn't tip them off that perhaps this wasn't the best choice for children? All I knew is that we wanted to be JUST like her, we even had a white lace glove to wear! My favorite song on the entire album, naturally, was "Material Girl".



Side note: Sesame Street also came out with a similar video around this time called, "Cereal Girl", which I also loved and sang all the time.



During our boredom, we'd also listen to my Dad's old 8 tracks, yes, I said 8 tracks. We'd play Elvis or The Beach Boys as loudly as possible and have a dance party in the den. It was all Soul Train, all the time. We also listened to my favorite album of my Dad's, "The Big Chill" soundtrack; possibly the BEST soundtrack...ever! Every song on the album is a classic, but of course, "I Heard it Through the Grapevine" was my absolute favorite! I never saw the movie until years later, and it was the most depressing movie I've ever seen! Did you know its about funerals?!! How can such an upbeat soundtrack be for such a depressing movie?! The songs like "My Girl", take me back to the Fourth of July, spending time at the Rickenbaker's pool, while our parents sipped on Bartles and James wine coolers and I got fried in the sun (thanks mom for the sun damage).



This leads me to a few years later when I was still listening to Madonna, but had also branched out to the likes of Debbie Gibson, Tiffany, and Wilson Phillips. Oh yes, I "Held on for One More Day" and didn't think "We're Alone Now" for a while! My sister and I would get home from school and video tape each other playing dance party! I remember her teaching me all the dance movies to Debbie Gibson's "Electric Youth", which I mastered perfectly, as proved by the video taped version. Speaking of, I wonder where that VHS is these days?



(Bonus points if you can do the dance!)


That brings me to the end of the 80s, which means I can't leave the decade without mentioning New Kids on the Block. While there were many songs that all of the guys sang (who was your favorite? I liked Johnathon b/c my sister liked him and I copied everything she did). And I can also tell you that I had a NKOTB duffle bag that I got for my b-day from Susan Quarterman, but my sister had the best....it was a denim vest with buttons of faces of each and every NKOTB-er. oh yeah. We kissed the buttons, well, all except for Donny, whom we referred to as "monkey face". Man, kids are so mean!!
While it was hard to pick the one NKOTB song to embed, I'm going with The Right Stuff b/c I had it on cassette tape as a single (other side was "Cover Girl"!!!). Ok, so play this and get up and do the dance, you know you want to!




In 1989, my family moved from Walterboro and it was a sad end to an era. New exciting things were happening in our lives; my sister was growing up and driving, I was still playing with Barbies and entering band. I listened to everything Charlotte listened to, trying to soak in her coolness and hoping it would rub off on me. We no longer had dance parties b/c it wasn't "cool" anymore, but I yearned for the days that she would offer to drive me around town in her new car, (a 4-door Cutlass Ciera). The songs of my youth changed from catchy pop songs to more edgy, even some rap!

In the moment, I really loved "MMMM, MMMM, MMMM" by the Crash Test Dummies. (You Tube won't let me embed, but you can watch it here). Charlotte started listening to things like C&C Music Factory's "Gonna Make you Sweat!" and I started branching off into country music, a la "Achey Breaky Heart".

Now that I'm up to my 90's years, I'll leave that for another time. Isn't it funny that a song can take you to a certain time and place?

I heart Spring!

Has anyone heard the horrible rumor that the United States Postal Service *might* not be delivering mail on Saturdays anymore?! What will I do with myself? Everyday after my long drive home from work, I walk to the mailbox in anticipation of care packages, cards, hand-written letters, bills of course, and my personal favorite...catalogs!

While I get a Victoria's Secret catalog in the mail every other day (honestly? I need to be reminded that my body isn't perfect that many times in a week? AND how many times you can rearrange the pages to make me interested in the same stuff?), I also receive Athleta, J Crew, LL Bean, ABC, Bits & Pieces, West Elm, etc. you get the idea. My all time favorite catalog has got to be Pottery Barn!


My spring Pottery Barn "teaser" catalog, only a mere 60 pages, showed up on Monday this week in the mail. It included beautiful photos of decorated bedrooms and pretty bathrooms. I immerse myself in the photos, studying every detail, wondering how I too can put up a plant in my teeny tiny shower or mimic the look of a treebranch coming out of a vase to make my bedroom look really serene and "outdoorsy" all at the same time.

But this week I had a super treat as I went back to the mailbox on Tuesday and got the official Spring Pottery Barn catalog!! a Full 165 pages of blissfulness! YAY!! Mini cartwheels in the yard! (watch for dog poop!) OOOH what to look at first?! Ok, yes, I want the trinket box and I'm going to fill it too with starfish and old post cards! OOOH OOOH, I bet I could hang the life size fork and spoon replicas in our dining room! Wonder if they make a spork instead? I always want the jute rugs as well, to go under my perfectly made sleigh bed, with the monogrammed pillows.


What I want to know though, is who are the people who have all of this outdoor furniture with full on pillows, cushions, umbrellas, curtains, and tea sets? They have full on outdoor area rugs too! How are these things not getting wet and molding!? They even have an outdoor buffet! I hope to have a perfectly decorated outdoor living room like these people...one day. But first I must decorate my indoor living room!


Some of the decorations make no sense though! I mean, who could use the life size abacus in their office? I have a hard enough time trying to use my computer's calculator, must less having to get on a ladder to move around beads! But you can pick up one of these nifty accents for your office to complete your Pottery Barn look for only $249, +S/H!





Side Note: Pottery Barn describes this abacus as this: "At four feet long, our grand wall abacus with movable beads is a sculpture that invites the touch" (invites the touch? hahhaha) Click here to order.



Ok, so you MAY or may not find an abacus in my house next time you visit, but rest assured, you WILL find a lived in couch, (secondary couch seating as well since we have YET to get rid of it), no rugs, loud paint colors such as green and orange, a large slobbery, hyper, dog, sand (brought in on our feet from the beach), and mis-matching bedroom furniture. I dream of the day that my house will resemble the entire looks of a Pottery Barn catalog, but until then, I'll settle for a just a page.




Things I heart about Spring:

Pottery Barn's new catalog, windows open, pinky blushes, pencil skirts, opening day of Baseball season, laying in the hammock, Spring sweeps on my favorite tv shows, Cadbury eggs, being able to wear white and pastels, open toed shoes, pedicures (gotta book one of those pronto!)


Things I DON'T heart:

Pollen, pollen and more pollen, hayfever, getting used to losing an hour of sleep


Things that keep me up at night:

Ok, what is the deal with Victoria Secret's new "The Nakeds"? Clearly, the models are NOT naked and the bras look exactly the same as Body by Victoria!


There have been a few articles out recently that coconut can help "cure" the symptoms of Crohn's disease. Would I be willing to eat coconut even though the mere thought of eating it makes me want to vomit? for a cure, yes...must get more research on this subject. Can't I just slather myself in coconut oil and bake in the sun for a cure?


Call me crazy or cautious, but as I get older, I tend to start seeing the bullshit, if you will, in other's a lot faster than other people do. I just sit back and wait for others to notice it too. I thank my mother for this nifty little skill.

Why is the game Bewjewled SOOOO addictive?!


OK ..time to catch up on tv!

xoxo, Bec

Random Tuesdays

I have been on a search for a blue and white horizontal striped rug for quite some time for our living room. I've found everything BUT blue and white! Not only that, but the only one I did find was $2,500. Not sure that we're going to be getting that particular area rug anytime soon. The search continues...


I have been so desperate to find an affordable rug that is stylish too that I have actually started looking in places I wouldn't normally. Those unconventional places took me today where I ventured out to Wal-Mart for the first time in a year. Now, you might ask yourself, how does one not go into Wal-mart in over a year? I was quickly reminded today as I walked the aisles; screaming babies, non-English speaking people all around me, slow moving & unfriendly cashiers... I was starting to think a year wasn't long enough. Needless to say, while Wal-mart, like most other stores I have found, had an endless supply of rugs, they did not have my elusive blue and white striped rug; however, they DID have many other miscellaneous other things I don't necessarily need. For instance, Easter sprinkles, Swiffer duster, BBQ lighter, you get the idea. (honey if you're reading this, ignore the last thing I just said).


The trip also included grocery items. I'm on my own for groceries today, as Adam is out of town, which would start the week of frozen pizza and fruit dinners. Let me explain myself...when Adam goes out of town for work, I tend to be too lazy to cook my own dinners, especially since its just for me. I am too tired when I get home from work to grill chicken breasts and chop up fresh veggies, so I usually veer towards eating dry cereal or frozen pizzas, like I just had for dinner tonight. Sometimes I eat just fruit and cheese for a meal. Don't worry though, I always have a rockstar breakfast - egg whites, bacon, English muffins, strawberries/blueberries - done!

The Red Barron Pizza I had tonight just ensured me that I should be thankful for the job I have because while I may be able to wax every inch of hair off your body, I simply cannot master cutting a pizza to save my life! Seriously! Round regular pizza in my house = 4 pieces, where as the normal person would have 10 pieces. I'm not sure whats going on here. When I try to roll the pizza roll slicer thingy more times than twice, that's when there's a problem. I give up, having worked off the caloric intake of said pizza by frustratingly jumping up and down, cutting, ripping, shredding left over pizza pieces forcing them to "cut" into separated pieces other than the 4 beginning slices. *phew* Perhaps I'll have that dry cereal for dinner tomorrow night, Honey Nut Cheerios are less confrontational and they don't need to be sliced.


What is UP with American Idol this year? I don't like ANY of the contestants. The only two that are semi-standable are Didi and Michael. I'm not sure what it is, but this year is just not good. Do you agree? blah. It doesn't help that they are singing Rolling Stones songs tonight either. I guess we'll see what happens, maybe it will get better the longer it goes? I don't know.

I will tell you, when Adam is out of town, I do crazy things!! It really makes me wonder what I would be like if I had ever lived alone without any roommates. For instance, today I decided that I needn't shower, but instead stayed in my pj's until 12pm. I got up at 7am, ate breakfast, did some marketing work for Bellezza and then cleaned and of course took a trip to Wal-Mart (I used to be concerned about how I looked, but lets me honest, we're not dealing with the cream of the crop here in the Creek). Ok, so maybe I'm not that "crazy" after all.


OOOH for those of you waiting for another "naked" baby post, I have to tell you that we are officially at "war" with our neighbors! I noticed a few months ago that all of a sudden the woman who lives next door stopped being friendly to me. She's ALWAYS outside smoking and talking on her cell phone while her two boys run around naked yelling and screaming. Usually she'll at least wave and acknowledge me as I pass by from the path from the garage to the screen porch, but now, she's not. When I was walking the other day, she was on the sidewalk on my side and I was prepared to at least say, "hello", but as I got closer to her, she crossed the street and didn't even look up! What did we do!? THEY are the ones that have a bonfire most Friday nights, staying up, being loud, and annoy US. The last straw was last week when they reported us to Animal Control that we need to pick up dog poop from our backyard. Really?! Really!? There dog comes into our yard and uses it freely! Now I'm working hard at staying busy at work so I can save for a fence. The quicker they get "blocked out" the better!!! They worry about something that is barely there, yet they don't report our neighbors directly across the street that left their Christmas decor up outside until the first part of March!? hmpfh! Privacy Fence please.


OK, I have updated quite a bit, time to finish watching American Idol.



But I will leave you with this: Beau has message for you below:




"Hoppy Early Easter"



and yes, I bought those ears at Wal-mart today too, 99 cents. haha

Spring Fever

Today was the second day of warm sunshine here in Charleston, which has me all in spring fever mode! I decided to get off my butt today, for the first time since before the wedding, to go for a walk. I even walked Beau, so that was a feat within itself.

I haven't updated in so long, but thats only because nothing overly exciting has been happening to me. I've literally been going to dr's appointments and working, that is all. But I won't bore you with my Crohn's disease stuff b/c I am tired of talking about it and I don't want to sound all "complainey". Although, I will say this: My dr. is starting me on a new medication that may take up to 3 months to start working AND one of the major side effects is loss of hair! I don't want to sound vain, but I really really don't want to lose hair, ya know?



OOOOh, so Adam and I took Beau to the dog park on Sunday and guess who comes up to us? My MOTHER!!! OMG! I didn't know what to say or do! Also, she gave her old dogs to the pound, why would she be at a dog park? She was puppy sitting for someone. Luckily, she came up to us and was nice b/c she had a friend with her and then she quickly left after that. Crisis and drama avoided!



OK, time for a pop culture moment: First off, I'm sure if you're a women between the ages of 18-50, you watched "The Bachelor" season finale last week and you saw Jake pick Vienna. Honestly? Who names their child after a mini sausage? Even though I didn't care for Vienna and I liked Ali or Tenly better for him, I think he and Vienna are perfect for each other. He picked her b/c he went with his penis, er, I mean "heart", and she won the competition, which is what it seemed like that is all she cared about anyway.


Time for lunch! I still have lots to do today, but perhaps I won't wait so long in between my next posting! ciao for now!

To be or not to be... a redhead.

So a week ago, I decided....27 years of being a blonde was fun, but now lets try some red on for a change. Luckily, working in a salon full of talented stylists, I was in good hands as I made the change from blonde to red. I'm not really sure what I was thinking and I'm pretty sure all the girls at work were nervous to color my hair b/c I'm pretty picky about things, but I took the plunge and I like it! I feel like my blue-green hazel eyes have popped out greener! My pale white skin looks like it has some color!! And duh-hubby, bless him, thinks I'm hot, hot, hot!



Meanwhile, the first morning after the coloring switch-a-roo, I barely recognized myself in the mirror. "Who's that Girl?" came to mind as I took a second look. Did I look more like my sister? I couldn't tell! And so my journey as a redhead has begun. I went shopping for green, purple....anything but pink which is most of what I own. And surprisingly, there isn't much purple clothing that is flattering out there! I wonder if people will perceive me as a different person b/c of the hair switch, but only time will tell. I am dying to do boudoir photos with my new hair though!! ...sorry, those WON'T be shared on the blog. haha




Also new with me is that after two years of suffering with Crohn's disease finally decided to switch Dr's b/c my other one kept putting me on steroids! Turns out I needed an MRI and bone density scan, etc. I had my MRI yesterday and it was horrible!!! Needless to say, I survived it, but I NEVER want to go through one of those ever again! Still waiting on results, I'm nervous about it. In fact I'm going to call them now and find out about it. ... Ok, called and the results are back, but the dr isn't in until tomorrow, so I have to wait. Prayers please.



Speaking of praying, I should NEVER ever watch the history channel's "signs of the apocalypse" ever again. I seriously just watched 5 minutes of it and I am completely freaking out.


OK... this is all thats new right now, I will check back later! :)

a broken relationship

Dear Mom,

I want to thank you for helping to shape and mold me into the strong person I am today. Because despite the many tears you've caused and the pain I've endured, I am still standing. I may never speak to you again and this saddens me, not because I miss you, but because I miss the idea of who you should be. People don't change and to have a relationship with you; you would have to change. I have given my everything to be the best daughter I can be in your eyes and nothing is ever enough so I have given up trying. Relationships take more than just one person trying to make it work and clearly you've decided that you want no part in my life. I feel guilt everyday for not wanting to reach out to you, but know I can't because its an endless cycle. And so... I will always love you as my mother, but will I ever love you as a person?

Love, Becca Boo




When people say their mother's annoy them, I often find myself snickering on the inside because the meaning of "annoy" is wasted on petty things all the time. I'm writing because that is what I do when I'm hurting, angry or when I'm ready to let go.

My sister, Charlotte, and I often say we should write a book on the subject of a bad mother, but where would we even start? Do you include things like how she didn't breast feed us because she didn't want to be hassled during the day to take care of us? Or do you skip ahead to the time she woke me up at 6am on a Saturday morning when I was in high school to tell me she was giving my dog away to some stranger because she was sick of him. Perhaps its the time she kept screaming at me on my birthday while I was on the phone with my dad, so I shut the door and locked it so I could hear. She knocked it down with a hammer and then created a crack down the wall.


A lot of people don't understand the strained relationship I have with my mother and I certainly can't blame them b/c the stories are so over-the-top, I wouldn't believe them if I didn't live them! By the way, I forgave my mom for giving my dog away. I also forgave her when she caused a major scene during my high school graduation; screaming, crying, hysterical - over a camera no less!! She some how managed to even make what was supposed to be one of the most important days of my life, completely about her. Some things never change.

But when does enough become enough? When do I stop forgiving someone who doesn't even apologize just because I'm supposed to love them? Someone giving birth to you does not constitute them being your mother, its so much more than that!

To understand my mother would take a psychology degree, many decades, and perhaps a small miracle. I myself don't even know her fully and I lived with her for 18 years! This is what I do know; I know that she is very immature, selfish, manipulative and a compulsive liar. I understand that writing these things down about her and sharing them means I cannot take them back... and trust me when I tell you these are all things I have said to her face before. Let me clarify that she has said unimaginably worse things to me.

It has always been about her. Time and time again I have tried to make our mother/daughter relationship work. She once activated a credit card in my name while I was in college and ran up a bill for $700 that she didn't pay. When it came time for me to get my student loans, I didn't qualify b/c I had "bad credit". During the process of fixing the situation, I found out that she had forged my name to acquire the credit card. To this day, she denies it, but the credit card company gave me the address where it was done and it was hers (she lived alone). I might not have been able to afford school, meanwhile, she was buying a brand new Cadillac and house with checks with money her second husband (only married to a month before he passed away), left her.


And yet, even after all of this, I STILL spoke with her. Did I mention that the reason I needed the student loan was b/c she spent my college savings in three months time? Yeah... no apology there either. She wanted me to "put myself in her shoes". I wanted to kick a boot up her ass.


Now that you have an idea of how she is, I'll tell you the last straw.


I recently got married in October, but the trouble started about 6 months prior. I wanted the mother/daughter moment of her helping me pick out my wedding gown. That Norman Rockwell painting of a perfect family. Instead, I called her and BEGGED her to go with me, when she finally showed up to see me in the dress, she had no kind words at all. "That freckle on your back is unbecoming!", "you'll have to dye your hair something other than a brassy shade of blonde b/c it looks horrible".. well, you get the picture.

And somehow still, the only time she'd talk to me about the wedding it was all about her. What would she wear? Where would she sit? Why couldn't she walk me down the aisle? Why wasn't her name on the invitations? She was angry I didn't invite her third cousin's daughter's friend. She didn't understand when I asked her to be there and not cause a scene - just for one day.

Conclusion is, she never showed up to the wedding because she KNEW she couldn't behave herself. A 50-something year old woman can't even control her own actions for 6 hours during a day! I came to the epiphany that if she truly loved me, she would have been there and just said.. I love you and I want to be here for you. But instead, she didn't show b/c it wasn't about her.


In the end, I am still feeling guilty for not talking to her. I eats at me everyday, even though I know it shouldn't. She doesn't bother to talk to me... so why should I to her? Nothing has changed. She refuses to take responsibility for herself or her actions. And I refuse to endure the drama she creates.


There. a glimpse. Thats it.. a glimpse into the life with my mother. The thing is, this isn't even half of it! I can't even recall everything in the past b/c I've blocked it out. I can just move on from here and wish her well in the future. I can feel blessed to know that family and friends are still there to love me and be there for me no matter what. Will I ever have a mother who loves me unconditionally ? I guess thats up to her. BUT I do have a spectacular mother-in-law and that will do for now. :)


signing off... xoxo, Becca