public peeing, volume 2.

Today I made a nice little trip to the mall and ventured into Belk while I was there. First off, who shops in the Women's Department anyway? The clothing in there is so depressing! Its the ugliest stuff I have ever seen, its like, they MAKE them high water pants on purpose. And don't get me started on the amount of coral shirts and ugly navy and red plaid pants. Yuck. Yuck. Yuckity. Yuck!

I drank way too much sprite before my shopping trip and needed to find a restroom quickly. I noticed another woman looking in the same direction, so I follow her into the ladies room. I was the youngest one in there by at LEAST 40 years. It was so cute, all these women out shopping at Belk for the day. I aspire to be one of those ladies. haha

Anywho, as we're waiting in line, there was an opened stall door just waiting to be taken. Lady number 1 - standing in front of me- explains that its "handicapped", and since she's not handicapped, she won't be using it. Lady number 2 (standing behind me), says..well, go on in, it won't hurt anything! Lady number 1 walks in the stall and quickly returns, someone previously had not flushed. Lady number 2, struts in the stall, flushes. *waits* Flushes again. *gives us an update that it did not correctly flush and then gives it another go* OOH YEAH!! It flushed! So she offers the stall to Lady number 1, just incase, and when she still declines, finally decides to go.

I FINALLY make it into a stall of mine own. I, like most of my fellow women, sanitize the toilet seat as best I can with a wad of toilet paper, inspecting any area that may be "damp" from the previous toileter. I then, very gingerly, pull out two strips of grainy, rough, one ply toilet paper to place over the toilet seat, just incase the first cleansing wasn't good enough. I then, proceed to sit, pee, and... WAIT JUST A MINUTE! *FLUSH* The toilet flushed on its own! Excuse me! I was not ready for *FLUSH!* it did it again!! I was still sitting! Water splashing everywhere... oh God help me! I finally get up, walk out and I've STILL made it out quicker than Lady 1 and Lady 2. I think I know when to flush by myself, thank you very much! I do not need a machine to "anticipate" the flush for me!

I try to get out of the stall. I turn the lever for the lock. I can't get it open!!!! OMG, I'm going to get stuck in this stall for-ev-er! OK, whew, just a blonde day, I twisted when I should have slid the lock.

I then go to wash my hands. Which, can I just say, I hate to do in public restrooms! I would rather take my chances and just use antibactierial soap. But because there were two older ladies in there that reminded me of my Mema, I HAD to wash them. My hands still smell like icky Belk public restroom soap. yuck.

And men wonder why it takes us so long in the restroom!